Revisionist History, and Redemption

A few more faces and facets from Matilda tonight.  

A couple thoughts have been running through my mind today.  

First, it seems as though her arrival here has instantaneously, or throughly and perfectly, rewritten my own history.  I am no longer only Pat, even in my own mind's eye...I am now Matilda's dad.  Looking back at the crazy stuff I did in college, weekends in Fargo to visit buddies at NDSU--cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon, 2 am car rides on an empty tank of gas to the casino in Mahnomen; several years spent lingering in Madison, WI; the Habitat for Humanity trips to other countries...mistakes I have made, things I have done right.  It's no longer only me who did those things, took those adventures, fell on my face in those moments of goofiness...it's now also Matilda's dad who did all those things.  And for worse and for better, I will have to tell her those stories in days to come, with pride and with chagrin.  I don't want to hide either my successes or my failures from her.  

Second thought...focusing on the failures, the goofiness, the mistakes...they don't matter anymore.  Though I have done a lot of good things in my life, I just have this feeling that now, everything is alright.  That may be a bit self-centered, but I have this feeling that since I have now contributed to the creation of someone so wonderful and filled with potential humanity--again, both for worse and better--that some of my sins and mistakes have been absolved.    

Bath Time

A few of the faces of Tilly tonight as her mom gave her a bath.  In the past 36 hours or so, the fiery redheaded spunky attitude has come out.  She's basically already figuring out how to get what she wants out of this world, which makes me proud and terrified at the same time. 

From here on out, I am going to post a few pics here and a bigger batch at:  www.pcp.smugmug.com  

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Matilda, Emma, Annie and I all hung out today, spending most of the afternoon on the couch, watching some of my favorite stuff on TV:  Twins baseball (can't win 'em all), and shows about massive geological disasters and stuff blowing up.  Not a bad afternoon all in all.   All afternoon we also got to hear the rain falling, which was very peaceful, and we need it pretty badly.  

More Introductions

Matilda continues to get to meet more great people who will be in her life.  George Watson is a family friend, they seemed to be equally enamored of each other.  They got to meet each other Friday at her Grandma Madeleine's house.  

Sunday, Matilda also got to finally meet her cousin Helen (now that Helen is over the croup) and her Uncle Jeff, and she got to hang out with her cousin Kate again, and see Aunt Grace, too.  

Springtime

These shots are from our yard last weekend...they all remind me of Tilly.  

Circles of Life, Diamonds, and Ambulation

It was a big day today for Matilda.  She took her first walk up the block with her mother...got some groceries, saw the ladies at the market--they've heard a lot about her, so it was nice for them to meet the wee celebrity in person.  It's amazing to live in such a great neighborhood where you can walk up the street to the grocery store; where people know, care about, and watch out for each other;  where people value children, and their arrival in the community.   I have said many times that living in this neighborhood here--literally in the heart of the Twin Cities--is like living in the small town where I grew up--only difference being I can see the downtown Minneapolis skyline from my bedroom windows.  I largely have Emma to thank for that.  With her salon, she's one of the hubs in this community, and I wouldn't know nearly as many people or be woven so tightly into the fabric here if it wasn't for her.  

   

Also, I got to tour the new Twins ballpark today with some University of Wisconsin alumni friends...just an amazing place.  I can't wait to take Matilda there for her first dozen or two Twins games.  Walking around the unfinished shell--getting to walk in the future Twins dugout, standing out on what will be the infield--I spotted literally a dozen spots where I want to sit at a game in the sun (or the rain), and get a feel for all the nooks and crannies at the new ballpark.  Whether you agree with a tax that adds $0.03 to every $20.00 purchase you make in Hennepin County, just wait until you attend your first game there.  It's going to be phenomenal.  

Finally, sadly, Matilda also attended her first funeral tonight (actually a wake).  My good friend Rick from high school lost his mother this past weekend.  Betty was a very sweet lady, and it was sad to see her pass.  But there was something comforting or even awe-inspiring about having a 9 day old baby at the wake for a 73 year old lady...life goes on, despite all the odds.  Life wants to go on, impels us--tricks us, drugs us--into helping it go on.  I hope when Matilda buries me in several decades that her friends bring a newborn to dance with me on or near my grave that day.  

Variations on a Theme

By the magic of digital shenaniganism, here's a few altered versions of the ones I just posted.  

My heart swells looking at these pics of Emma and Tilly. 

Portraits of My Girls

A few pics of my girls from this afternoon.  I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love Matilda.  

I know I am clearly and obviously fully biased, but I really think she's one of the most beautiful people I have ever known.  

Family History-There's More Than One Way to Get Down Under

I just got the following refresher on some interesting family history from my cousin Tom. I am proud that Matilda has a great-great-great-great-grandmother who was on the run from the English!

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Here are a few facts about Matilda's Raleigh ancestors. John Rawleigh - was the spelling used prior to about 1900 when your great-grandfather William and his brother Mike changed it to Raleigh. John is my great-grandfather and your great-great-grandfather. John was "a seventh generation red-head." None of my children had red hair, but my eldest son, Tom, married a red head and I have three red haired grandchildren , Tom, Helen and Grace. I have been told that you have to have the gene on both sides to get red hair.

When John Rawleigh left Ireland, about 1848, he had "44 cousins who left for Australia." There was never any further communications because John and Margaret left for France to escape a warrant for her arrest. Margaret wrote pamphlets against the English occupiers of Ireland - you didn't throw shoes in those days. He was a member of the "organization" and along with another man was appointed to guard her and get her out of the country. They married in France and then came to New Orleans.

So those Australian connections go farther back then you think - and so does that red hair.

A Few More, Especially for Grandpa Paul in Australia

A few shots here to give some updated close ups.  These are from Monday afternoon, 7 minutes shy of being exactly one week since her birth.  

Annie, our Goldendoodle, loves Matilda...gives her lots of sniffs, gentle licks, and is very curious about her.    I think she'll be one of Matilda's best friends and biggest protectors.  

I know these are not very glorious photos from a professional photographer, but I wanted to get something up here for everyone, especially for her Grandpa Paul and Ange, in Australia, as it will be a few more months before they get to see her. 

She has been hanging out in my office with me for a few hours now, helping me start to begin to get things back to normal.  Annie was helping me watch her.  One of these days, I will pull out all the proper photo equipment, lights, etc., and get some proper shots of her.  

Betrothed

 This is Luke Broghammer, John and Laura's son, and one of Matilda's earliest contenders for boyfriend material.  We'll see.  He's a good kid, with good parents.  

He's only 7 months old but when he came over the other night--after having been staring at our little 7 lb peanut for several days--I couldn't believe how big Luke looked next to her, size-wise.

I fully expected him to start talking, playing cards with me, etc. It was so strange...only a few weeks ago when we last saw him, he was just a baby.  Now, side by side with Tilly, he looks like a 40 year old man.  

Visitors

It's been a while...we're settling in to a comfy routine of staring at Matilda all day long, taking great enjoyment out of hearty feeding sessions, robust passage of gas, and smiles (regardless of whether smiles are authentic or from said gas).  She's had several friends and family stop to see her.  Here are some aunts and uncles, old family friends:  Aunt Colleen, Uncle Jay and very-soon-to-be Aunt Kristin, Aunt Erika, Uncle Jim, and friends Alexus and Ellie with their mom, Holly.  

She's a really laid back kid...she only squawks when she's got a good reason, vs. just to hear her own voice.  She's a total sweetheart, we love her completely and count our blessings.    

More Pics from Today

Just hanging out today with Emma, Matilda, and Annie.  I could get used to this. She's such a snuggler, and she keeps getting more beautiful each day.  

Catching up...we got home around 2 pm yesterday afternoon.  Fifteen minutes after we got in the door, Matilda got some flowers from Ange and Grandpa Paul in Australia!  First time she's received flowers.  

I felt an incredibly peaceful feeling to be home with her, and the house felt different than it ever has...more like a true home, even though Emma and I have been here for 4 years.  

Emma told me she felt compelled to go in the living room and sit on the couch with her. 

Annie has lots and lots of kisses for her, and is still modulating her enthusiasm, but she absolutely loves her.  Here's some pics from yesterday: from leaving the hospital, loading up, Matilda entering the house for the first time, and then just hanging out.